When I went in for my last dilation I forgot to ask Dr. Lo to stitch Dolores back in. Dang it.  I think I will just give up on that one. She is still free as a bird.  Well sort of. I have learned how to do some major strength tape-age. First I bandage her, she does still drool quite a bit. I use paper tape to secure it as that is easier on my skin.  Then I loop thin strips of silk tape in a "support our troops" type ribbon, first one way then the opposite. Then I secure the ends of that and voila! It stays put. And without the bullet proofing! That was getting a little expensive as I need to change the dressing at least once or twice a day. Have you seen the cost of medical adhesive tape?! I should have taken out stock in 3M!

Also I am not as nervous about her popping out because now I know how to disinfect and just push that little Miss Priss right back into place (...teach her to mess with a momma!). Funny how perceptions change huh.

Anyway in talking with Jo Marie, (remember the Nurse Practitioner?) she has started talking about plans to get rid of Dolores completely (ooooh.... sounds a bit nefarious...)!  Right now my goal is too get my calories up to 1000 per day by mouth, then I can cut my tube feedings down by half.  It is actually harder than it sounds. Right now I am up from about 400 to between 750 and 850 and it is freaking HARD! Twilight zone, alien abduction, call it what you want, it is so amazingly weird for me to be counting calories so religiously to get them UP.

I am going to shoot for the end of January to be up to 2000 per day and then goodbye pain in the a$$  Dolores! Maybe I will even have a farewell party! ..... Nah, nobody would come. It's like those office parties for a co-worker no one can stand and people show up only long enough to get the cake.

Well mayyybe if she hadn't been such a Miss Prissy Pants, there would be Balloons!