No more pokes, prods or needles until the 20th of May when I have to have another PET scan! Yesterdays doctor appointment yesterday went very well. Aaron, Cary's son came down to watch the kids while we went up to LA. He is such an amazing person. All Cary's kids are! I just adore all of them.


I am bit worn out but OK I guess. I am able to eat almost anything except meats and breads if there is an abundance of non tomato based sauces or gravies. Chips are still a no no as well, but I really don't need them anyway. Gotta get in shape for that strip dancing class I wanna take next time I head to Vegas...

Well, DARN it! I won't be able to practice on the subway like I had planned...

I am feeling better and better! I was able to get the boys off to school, unpack the boys bathroom and part of the boys books, and get the boys home from school. Then on top of that, I even made dinner! First time I cooked since January! Hey I gotta protect that mothers day present SOMEhow! I am pretty wiped out now, but I am so very happy I really don't care. Tomorrow might be a different story, but hey, I'll take the good days as I can get them. If anyone would have told me a year ago I would be so proud of myself for accomplishing this much in a whole day, I would have laughed out loud. Funny how perceptions change.

On a bit of a heavier note my friend from the kids school who fought off breast cancer has had a reoccurance. Bless her heart, the insurance would not approve a more aggressive initial treatment because it was not "medically necessary". I wonder if she was told the same thing I was when I was doing my arguing with the insurance company.

An HMO allows for "adequate" care not "the best" care. The fun part is how they said they determine "adequate" care. There is a possibility you have not received "adequate" care if you die, and your heirs can prove you did not die of the cancer. Isn't that so nice?!

Gotta love customer service!

I ate corn chowder last night for dinner ~ and it wasn't even pureed!!!! ( hallelujah chorus playing there in case you were wondering)... I still am a slow poke in most everything and still get pooped really easy, but I am getting better. Pretty soon I will actually be able to help my poor hubby with the boys. ~ and then I will have my surgery and he can  go back to the "single dad" thing. I think he aught to get a present for Mothers day this year, since I haven't cooked a single meal since January... sigh...

Jasper our dog, is now bald. Nothing to do with cancer, just wanted to let you know ~ oh and that I AM THE ONE who gave him his haircut ! WOOT, WOOT! It pretty much did me in for the rest of the day, but hey, I was pretty impressed with myself! OK he looks a bit strange without his hair, but he gets matted and yucky really easy, so we gotta get it off at lease once in awhile!

BEFORE and AFTER

very good day today. I had a small amount of energy and planned to unpack the boys bathroom, organize the kitchen and then take a nap. Well, I took a nap...

Actually I also went to the store with the hubby so that pretty much wiped me out. But hey, the hurties were a lot less so I will take what I can get.

DANG IT! I forgot to bring a parasol! I just love getting in peoples way.

I need to say something I have been avoiding.

Handle bar mustache guy passed away.

May you sing many more songs and make much more gumbo for those who have gone before.
xxxx and much love,
Stacey

I haven't blogged in a couple days - OK a bit longer than that- but who's counting. I started having trouble breathing and even going up the stairs made it feel like I had run a marathon in an hour. I stated having dizzy spells and that is when hubby said enough is enough. I TOLD him I was just being a boob, but he had me call the doctor anyway. Well, long story short they though I might have pneumonia,but all the tests and x-rays came back good. Apparently radiation can  cause lungs to get all puffy, but no pneumonia. SOOOO it really was that I was just being a big boob.

(this is where I would normally put perhaps an inappropriate pic of a "big boob" but since this IS a family site, I figure I best refrain...even though it IS my site and dang it I have already done the potty mouth thing...you missed it~ it was way back at the beginning or something)

yesterday was a really good day. I got a lot accomplished, and didn't feel wiped out until way after 6:00 pm! today...~ ... well, here is what I wrote on my facebook page :

"yesterday was a good day. Today, I am still working on getting my butt in the shower and it is dinner time...and its a stinky butt too....."

I guess I am still struggling to understand why I can be so full of beans and vigor one day and feel so wiped the next. I mean its not like the cancer is growing anymore, its dead. SO why is my body not bouncing back? My head knows it has only been a week since I stopped treatment, but dang it my spirit want to get out there and enjoy these next few weeks before I go under the knife! I guess I will just take the good days as I can get them, but it still sucks when there are bad ones.

I found this on the web and laughed out loud. 

Death AND a fine... hmmmm.... I must remember not to touch those wires...

 

Today we were out driving in wine country ~ beautiful by the way, when we saw a herd of long horns. Ben said excitedly, " Look mom! a moose!" It made me smile. I have just been enjoying my boys to no end, but I am still moving a bit too slow for my taste. I want to be up and running, but by the end of the day I am pretty much done in. Heck, by about noon I am pretty much done in. I pushed today to get a little shopping for necessities done, but I made sure Cary was with me to pick me up if I fell flat. Luckily I did no such thing and didn't poop out until just before dinner.

I have a rough idea of schedules now, not exact dates yet, but close.  In two week I see the radiologist to follow up. In three weeks I have blood work and labs done. In four weeks I have the PET scan. In 5 weeks we do the pre-op stuff and in 6 weeks - the surgery. That will put it happening around the first week in June.

Until then, I just get feeling better and totally enjoy all the snuggles I missed out on.

I just loved this one...

Sunday was a really hurty day, so I just laid around like a lump. But Monday?

Monday was a WONDERFUL day. You wanna know why huh? Well, I had my followup visit with my oncologist.He started out by saying I took this treatment better than about 90% of his patients.  Then he started explaining how there was still most likely a big ol mass in my esophagus, but that it was a big DEAD mass.

It took a few minutes for that to sink in.

Long story short he is pretty dog-goned positive that I have BEATEN THIS MONSTER!!!!

He started telling me that I would have a decision to make because my PET scan would have a very good chance of coming back completely clear. The controversy arises because surgery on a a pet scan that comes back clear could seem "unnecessary".  BUTTT the odds of reoccurrance is much higher in patients without the surgery. I have already done my homework on this, read all the statistics, patient stories, and every article I could possibly find ~  and had already made my decision when he asked. I have far too much to risk if I have a reoccurance, because the 2nd time round is always uglier and more aggressive. I WILL see my children to adulthood. I will have the surgery in about 6 weeks.

We took the boys up to LA with us this trip so we could let them know immediately what the doctor had said, so we all went to Joes Crab Shack on the way home to celebrate.  This one even had a little playground and I just reveled in the sounds, the smells, the life all around me.  I  know this sounds kinda weird, but I felt a pride in accomplishment that I haven't felt since my boys were born.  With prayers, support, love and God, I BEAT THIS S.O.B.!

Monday was definitely a good day.