I am so proud of myself! Even though I didn't feel good today, I walked to and from the hospital and to and from the grocery store! that's about 3 miles total. I needed to get out of the apartment as I was going a bit stir crazy. Anyone who daydreams about scrubbing carpets, needs a change of scenery.  I am just too much of a  social animal to be a solitary resident.

Living here in West Hollywood has given me a beautiful place to stay, a safe neighborhood to live in and nice sense of small community, even in the big city.  But it is also giving me some prejudices!  It is getting harder and harder for me to think of good looking, well dressed young men as straight! Most of these guys are impeccably groomed, most of the time have a really adorable dog, are dressed a HECK of a lot better than I am~ and are in much better shape. I'm a little jealous! OK a lot jealous...

ewwwwww........Not jealous of THAT!!!!

tired and kinda beat up today but I did get laundry and housekeeping done. Not that either of those are hard with just me in the apartment. The boys left fingerprints all over every mirror when they were here on Monday. I didn't clean those up. I just smile when I see them and feel closer to my babies. I think I mopped the floor today just because I was bored, not because it needed it. I do wish I had the carpet cleaner here though. Man I must be really desperate! Maybe I can get out of here tomorrow and go for a walk before I take my vicodin...

I am such a dim bulb sometimes.... I packed the camera this week so I could take a few pics of the neighborhood, the house with the flowers, all that, and my sweet hubby reminded me to make sure I charge and pack the battery. Well, I charged it....

Saw the Oncologist yesterday and the Radiologist today. As far as my treatment and progress goes I was told today that I am "perfect". (a- hem pardon me while I blush).

Well, on the home front I had a lovely weekend, and my arms feel all empty now that I am back in LA. Since it is spring break my boys got to come with their dad to drop me off. They got to see where I as staying and were SO well behaved when I took them down to see the koi pond!  Maybe now Ben will stop telling people I am dead.

The boys are all sick now, and poor Daniel even has a nasty fever. I just told Cary to watch out for rashes as Ben just got over scarlet fever.

Cary and Bub gave the 3 little the boys hair cuts, I am anxious to see how they turned out.

My owies been keeping me awake at nights and since I am at the max of every medication I can take to help with the stomach acid,  the doc prescribed me the good stuff. Actually I opted for Vicadin instead of bigger stuff because I knew I would most likely REALLY need it after the surgery. It still makes me plenty loopy. Cary has warned me not to take it and go walking. I wonder if that is a problem here... Walking Under the Influence...made me kinda wonder if this sign is really real or just some one else who needs to be issued a W.U.I.

Well, the pain is back with a vengeance,  But Cary's dad suggested I sleep in the recliner and that seems to help a lot with the really hurty heartburn.

I am having a wonderful weekend. I totally enjoy my boys (big and little) and it was really nice to see Bub, Cary's dad.  He is here helping take care of the boys as well as packing and cleaning like a madman! My house hasn't ever been so clean. I kept trying to say it hasn't been that clean since before I got sick, but then I stopped fooling myself. It has never been this clean!

Mostly I am being a lazy bum sitting on the couch and they (Cary and Bub) have packed up the guest room, the homework room and believe it or not most of the kitchen - just while I have been here.I am so thankful let me tell you!

I am also so grateful to the ward as well. They have been bringing in meals, making sure our yard stays taken care of and just watching over my sweet family.

I feel very blessed :)

Well, at least I had a couple of good days where I was almost eating normal food. I can still eat really runny eggs, but the rest is back to soups and purees. *sigh*, it was nice while it lasted.I guess I will just bring that gingerbread I made home to the boys.

think I'll muster enough energy to go for a walk up to the store. just cant wait until Friday to see my boys...

Got laundry and basic housekeeping done today. Feeling pretty good, but I think the radiation is finally making my throat swell. Not a big deal, and I can still eat semi solid foods, just kinda have to slow it back down a bit to a bit softer and squishier foods.

so tired tonight. Think my dyslexia is kicking in...

home and here

First, on the home front, Bub, Cary's dad came up  last week end to help with the boys and such. I guess the very first night he was there the boys got soda! Since we RARELY let them have it, they were in 7th heaven. I guess he made a pot of spaghetti too and Ben ate so much his little round belly looked like one of those starving kids in Ethiopia!  
Tomorrow is the day Daniels book report is due, so I went to the library a couple days ago, got a copy of the book he needed to finish reading and we read it together over the phone. It was just a tiny taste of home for me, and he got his book read!

On to LA: I wrote this on my facebook page,

Dear Person who Lives on the Corner of San Vicente and Sherboure in LA,
Thank you SO much for your beautiful yard! I look forward to passing it each time I walk to and from the hospital. It smells amazing!
love, me.

The walk to the hospital is really beautiful and I just LOVE that fore mentioned house. It has a purple wrought iron fence with flowers just streaming down it. It is smothered in trees and greenery, so much so that the color of the house and indeed almost the house itself is nearly undecernable! It is truly breath taking.
I also get to walk past the Museum of Modern Art, the Sheriff's station, the library, a park, a community swimming pool and if I veer off to the side a bit, a community garden. Oh, and Jerry's World Famous Deli. I haven't been able to eat there yet, but it is supposed to be - well - world famous. Something else to look forward to I guess...

Nowhere did I see any keep off the grass signs, which is very friendly. I have just casually noticed that even when "keep off the grass" signs try to be nice, or witty - they just come off sounding ~ well ~ judge for yourself...

air freshener anyone?

Well, great news, I ate ravioli today - and not the ground up baby food kind! WOOO HOOOO!!!! That was the first time since October I have been able to eat anything solid like that - so SOMETHING has to be working! I don't have high enough numbers yet for my white blood cells to have another infusion yet, doc says probably another 2 weeks. I will not argue with him...

Now, as far as what my body is doing, - skip this part if you have delicate constitutions or will roll convulsively on the floor laughing at crude humor... it is vacillating wildly from constipation to diarrhea and I get tired really easy, but gas on my belly is the only pain I am feeling now! That is also a very good sign. The no pain thing not the gas. That is actually pretty stinky. I'm kinda glad I live alone for the big ones... Well you all SAID you wanted to know how I was doing!

I was a bit down in the mouth yesterday, so I didn't write anything for the blog. I was just having a nice pity party, missing my boys and my hubby, missing my dog and my bed (Hmmmm I should turn that into a country western song.... ). All I got done was unpack my stuff and take a shower. I didn't leave the apt all day, just sulking and feeling very sorry for myself.

Today I woke up and still wanted to do the same, but I knew it just was terrible to do when I have SO many blessing coming my way. I missed going to church a lot today, as I really felt I needed the uplift-ment it has to offer,  but I did read my scriptures and thought about the incredible gifts God has given me.

I have just an amazing close and extended family, my friends are dear to my heart, I have more prayers coming my way than I could even count, I swear I can actually feel the tumor is shrinking, I am in a safe and beautiful area to receive this treatment, my doctors and nurses are among the best in the entire WORLD, my boys are well taken care of, and I just needed to get off my tushy and be grateful. With those ponderings, I felt it was really necessary to apologize to my Heavenly Father.  After that,  it was just impossible to stay down in the mouth.

Thank you again my dear family and friends, for all your prayers. I really am thankful for them.

I got out of bed, got dressed, and went for a walk to explore the neighborhood. I am so glad I did. I got to see the LA marathon runners go right by me! I also got to see many cute shops and restaurants as well. I found the local post office and grocery store and even found a couple good short cuts to the hospital.  It is only about a 15 to 20 minute walk to the cancer center, so if I am at all feeling up to it, I want to walk as much as I can. Even if I had a car around here, parking is just terrible, so I would probably end up walking still!

tired, but its all good

Cary came up to help me move from the hotel into the apartment. I really really needed him and am SO thankful he came up to help. I was not feeling well all morning,  it was nice just to lay there like a lump and have hubby do it all. I kinda felt bad, as all the trips we have ever taken before this, I was in charge of packing. He was an absolute trooper though and handled it like a pro. I didn't lift a finger.

I am missing my little ones like crazy right now and since Ben had scarlet fever and I didn't do so hot with that silly infusion thing, I can't come home this week. I am holding up, as are my boys, but man I miss them and they are having a rough time as well. I won't be able to see Carly off either, which kinda stinks, considering how much she has done for me and our family. From the bottom of my heart my sweet Carly, I thank you. ( that just doesn't seem to even come close to covering it does it?)

The apartment is just lovely. It is on the third floor of a gated Mediterranean style villa, and overlooks a very nice pool.  It is right off Santa Monica Blvd in the hills of West Hollywood. I am just  SO grateful to be in a nice, comfortable and SAFE place during all this.  I have to catch myself all the time when I think thoughts of "Oh the kids would just love this!" No kids allowed. :(   I told Nathan that and he was dumbfounded. He asked " But WHY would here be a place that doesn't allow kids?!"  I replied that I had  NO idea because kids bring the joy into an otherwise boring place!

Case and point, the other day Nathan was CONVINCED Carly's dog Grrr was a robot dog impostor that had stolen Carly's phone.  He kept poking this poor dog with a stick until it was finally revealed that Nathan had been the last one to play with said phone and it and it had fallen under the couch cushions.... Now I ask you, where can you EVER find that in a world without kids?!